She's born to shimmer. She's born to shine.

Received order for 28 items from Apol Quejada. 

My first business venture - my very own online store! Visit http://stylevault.multiply.com for Tokyo and Korea clothes (coming soon: shoes!) that are priced lower than the those found in other sites. We'll also be offering RTW and accessories that are locally sourced, so you won't have to pre-order them. AND we'll be offering customized statement tees before the year ends!

If you want to be on-trend, without having to spend a lot, http://stylevault.multiply.com is the site to go to!

(Edited to add: for now, there's only one album open to the public, but I will be adding more items within the week.)

PM me for inquiries. :D And I would really appreciate it if you'll add me.

(And... since friends tayo, let your friends know na rin!)

Ready, set, SHOP!

Dinky and I are celebrating our 59th monthsary today. On the 25th next month, we'd have been together for 5 years.

59 months. That's a pretty long time. And it's pretty incredible, because, a few hours after we became a couple, we started discussing things that would potentially complicate our relationship - our 16 year age gap, the fact that we both just got out of long-term relationships, how we're going to make things work because of our schedules (he was working full-time, I was studying) and how we're going to tell my parents - my dad, most especially. Sometime around midnight, we decided to just enjoy the ride, and that those complications shouldn't matter. There were no resolutions, no pressure - just a promise that we'd try our best to make each other happy for as long as we were together. And that must have worked, because we're still together, and somehow we both manage to make each other happy.

We used to count our "togetherness" in terms of weeks. And after that, months. He wasn't a monthsary person, but he found himself remembering our monthsary every single month, and even does hourly and by-the-minute countdowns the day before every single monthsary. I used to be skeptical of long-term relationships - the fickle in me was convinced that things would get boring, or tiring after a while. I never saw myself in a stable relationship with just one person for more than 2 years. But somehow, with Dinky, it became possible. I got so used to the idea of being him, it never bothered me that I'd have to spend the rest of my life with him.

59 months down, forever to go.

P.S. Dinks, if you're reading this,  expect the 5th anniversary entry to be cheesier. Staying together for half a decade is a huge milestone for me. :p

And so, to give us more time to prepare for the wedding (as in really prepare and actually make reservations)  and to iron out kinks, my fiance and I have decided to move the wedding to a later month - still definitely within the first half of next year, but not January.

We've been extremely pressured lately, because most suppliers would require you book them at least 6 months before the wedding, and we haven't reserved anything - we're literally running out of time, and we're downsizing everything. It isn't practical to have such a big, expensive wedding, when we can have a nice, small one, that's still classy and elegant for a much lower price - and this means looking around for suppliers that are not mainstream.

My fiance and I are willing to scrimp on everything else, except for two things - the church, including the ceremony (the church must be beautiful, must look good in photos, must have proper lighting and LOTS of flowers, and the ceremony must be solemn, with the right amount of kilig in the right places); and the food - the food MUST BE YUMMY, and the setup must be elegant.

So far, I have found my caterer - as in I am a hundred percent sure we'll book them already. They already personalized a menu based on our budget, and they have flexible payment terms. And their setups are really, really classy - they have a garden reception setup that's exactly what I have in mind. The catering manager is also such a joy to deal with, she replies promptly and is very gracious.  And her menu is drool-worthy - definitely not what mainstream caterers have to offer. And they have my favorite dessert, croquembouche, as their wedding cake, and that pretty much sealed the deal. I am incredibly excited to book them - which we'll do as soon as we have the church reserved, and we have the reception venue finalized. I daresay this caterer has an even better offering than the bigwigs, like Hizon's or Josiah's. And it really says a lot about our preferred caterer when I got my fiance to agree to book them just by looking at their photo gallery. :)

Speaking of the church, we also tried to look for other churches that might have our preferred wedding dates, January 10, 2010 or January 25, 2010 free - and found none. So we're sticking to our church, and moving the wedding to, at the latest, June. It is the perfect church - ample parking space, beautiful interiors.

I've found two reception venues - our initial choice was The Glass Garden, but after much deliberation, scrapped it from our list - it isn't practical to spend almost a hundred thousand on the venue alone. So we're scouting for garden/poolside reception areas, and found one in Mandaluyong, which would have been perfect except that it's too far from our church, and a poolside venue very near our venue - the only issue would be to rain-proof the place, a priority if we're having a June wedding.

My wedding gown won't be designer - I'll cop off the design from a magazine, and have an unknown costurera make it - not only will it be cheaper, it means I can have free rein on the design, unlike when I go designer and the designer would have to impose his aesthetics on me.

I'm actually having a lot more fun planning this downsized wedding - I've always been iffy with huge, expensive gatherings, and it's so much fun to find suppliers that are not as expensive as the mainstream ones, but deliver much better results.

Now my fiance and I can breathe easier, and spend more time remembering why we decided to get married in the first place - instead of yell at each other over missed meetings with suppliers, and a budget that has gotten way out of hand.

I have always been vain, and I go through great lengths to take care of myself - not because I find anything wrong with it, or because I want to change how I look, but because I believe that how I'm going to look like 10 or 20 years from now depends greatly on how how I take care of myself now. Also, I feel good after pampering myself - I'm a spa addict, and I love massages, and when I have the time and the resources, I splurge on hair treatments (what I absolutely cannot do without, however, are manicures and pedicures, foot spa, and a trim). Needless to say, I've tried a lot of products, and have spent a considerable amount of money on beauty products. Of course, I'm lucky to have a mother who's even more vain than I am and is willing to spend on products for me, and Titas abroad who are dying to let me try stuff, but when I run out of the initial stash from them, I buy my own.

Here are the beauty products (that I use on a daily basis) that I swear by:

Shampoo and Conditioner - I swear by the shampoo and conditioner in L'oreal Elseve's Smooth Intense line. Since having crazy hormonal problems, my hair has become frizz-prone and dry, and Smooth Intense helps my hair look healthy.  When I'm low on cash, Pantene Total Care shampoo and conditioner works, too.

Body Wash - I love Ivory and Dove, because they leave my skin feeling soft and moisturized, which is perfect for nights when I'm too lazy to put on lotion. Johnson and Johnson's Baby Milk Bath work just as well, and has a sweet, clean scent. I normally use body wash for my long, leisurely night baths.

Body Soap - I love Dove Fresh Moisture Body Bar, with green tea and cucumber scent. It makes me feel so clean and refreshed, and I use it for my daily showers - I love heading out the door smelling like fruit. :p

Body Lotion - During the day, I use Dove Fresh Moisture Body Lotion. It has a refreshing scent and is easily absorbed by my skin, and it never makes me feel greasy. I also love Kiehl's Deluxe Hand and Body Lotion with Aloe Vera and Oatmeal. At night, I use Dove Rich Nourishing Body Milk. It has a very comforting scent that's not heady or too cloying, and I love smelling like a baby when I'm in bed - the smell that clings to my sheets and pillows makes me fall asleep easier. For when I need intense moisturizing (like when it's really cold, or I'm out of the country), I use The Body Shop's Shea Body Butter.

Facial Cleanser - I've tried a lot of facial cleansers since high school, and the ones that work for my combination skin are Clean and Clear Deep Action Cleanser, and Pond's Clear Solutions Facial Cleanser. These two work better on my skin than the pricier ones I've tried, and they keep my face feeling clean and firm and they guarantee that my face doesn't get oily in the middle of the day.

Toner - I swear by Clean and Clear Daily Pore Cooling Toner. It leaves my face feeling tingly-clean, minus the taut, banat feeling.

Facial Cream - When I was in high school, I swore by Clean and Clear Oil-Free Moisturizer. It prevented breakouts, and never made my face feel greasy. Now that I don't get breakouts anymore, I've become more concerned with aging, so I've switched to Olay Total Effects 7-in-1 Anti-Aging UV Moisturizer - I love how it makes my skin feel soft and supple, I love its delicate scent and I love how it brightens my face. I use it twice a day, and I wake up looking well-rested and dewy. I've also tried Creme De La Mer, but it's too potent for my skin, so I might have to reserve this for when I'm in my 30's already.

Eye Cream - La Mer's The Eye Balm is perfect. It's expensive, but it really works and it minimizes the lines around my eyes.

Makeup Remover - Pond's Cold Cream is the ultimate makeup remover for me.

Zit-Zapper - I used to like The Body Shop's Tea Tree Oil, but as my skin needed something more potent, I switched to Mario Badescu Drying Lotion. It zapped my zits overnight, and it prevented new pimples from getting hinog. It cleared up my face, and if you knew me when I was 19, that was no easy feat.

Tinted Moisturizer - I love Nivea Tinted Moisturizer - it provides an even film of color and moisture on my face, and it really does even out my skin tone. The downside is that there are only two colors available, and the lighter one of the two is still a shade too dark for me. I usually just correct the tint with pressed powder or loose foundation.  Apart from that, it's a great product - it functions as a liquid foundation and gives ample coverage, and I don't break out. It's unscented, too, which I like.   I might try Olay Total Effects Touch of Foundation very soon though, because apparently the shade is lighter than that of Nivea's.

Makeup Base - I use Clinique's Balanced Makeup Base, and it's unscented, non-oily, matches my skintone perfectly, and covers a multitude of sins (uneven skintone, pimple scars, undereye circles) so well, I don't use concealer anymore.

Pressed Powder - MAC Studio Fix Powder Plus Foundation provides perfect coverage, sets well, and does not cake or make me oily. I also like Pond's Pinkish White Glow Lightening Compact Powder, and e.l.f.'s Clarifying Pressed Powder.

Loose Powder - I love Natural Rice Oil Absorbing Rice Powder - it's great as a finishing touch to your makeup, or to sop up greasy shine. I also like Revlon's Mineral Foundation - it stays put the whole day and doesn't irritate my skin. I also like e.l.f.'s Loose Mineral Makeup.   

Blush and Bronzer - I use Clinique's Blushing Blush Powder in Sunset Glow, and the Caffeine Rush Color Pot from G-lish.

Tinted Lip Balm - I absolutely love Blistex Lip Tone - I've been using it for 5 years already. A tube usually lasts me a few months. I also love Kiehl's Lip Balm in 58B. I use Chapstick Classic in Cherry for when I'm at the gym, or jogging.

Regular Lip Balm - I slather on Chapstick Classic in Spearmint at night, before going to bed. I also use Godiva's Lightening Lip Balm.

Everyday Lipstick - I love Fashion21's Aqualicious Lipstick in Arctic Stone - mixed with Blistex Lip Tone, it's the perfect nude lippie for me. Plus it's really cheap.

Mascara - I swear by Maybelline's Great Lash Waterproof Mascara (in black, of course) which never runs or smudges, and stays put.

These are the products that I absolutely cannot live without. I shall make a more in-depth makeup post, and the special-occasion makeup products and tools that I swear by.

When I was a little girl, I always looked forward to celebrating my birthday, because it always meant cakes and balloons and gifts - lots of gifts. When I hit 21, I started to dread my birthday - because it means I'm getting old, and I'm now more prone to wrinkles and weight gain. When I turned 21 I realized that I could do away with the party - I'm good as long as my family and my fiance's with me and they went out of their way to hear mass with me and to share a meal with me. They outdid themselves with the Villa Escudero party 2 years ago, and things were pretty intimate last year (no party, we just went out and ate out), but this year's extra special because things were done my way.

I celebrated my birthday in my maternal grandparents' Batangas home, and my fiance was with me. We opted to celebrate on May 9, the eve of my birthday, because Tito Noel, Papa's cousin (Rosales side) was scheduled for bypass surgery on May 10, and they had to be there. I cooked paella, beef with mushrooms in creamy white sauce (served with plain rice) and prawn and garlic pasta for an intimate dinner, with only my family, my grandparents, some of my cousins and my aunts in attendance.  They rented a videoke machine and we took turns wailing like there's no tomorrow (thank God the neighbors didn't complain or anything) and I got my underaged cousins drunk. :D Then they surprised me with fireworks at midnight - this was totally unexpected, and I was giddy. They even had a cake for me (good thing they were sensitive enough not to have twenty-three candles for me to blow, because they know aging is an issue for me) and we stayed up all night until my parents had to leave for Manila for Tito Noel's surgery. Best parts of the night: Papa ruining every single song he sang, and Miko falling off a canal. (He's injured and his left leg's taped up and bandaged and all and I should feel bad, but the way he fell... and the look on his face, were priceless!)

My officemates also surprised me with a song, and the most sinful chocolate mousse from Cheesecake Etc. yesterday, and I was later informed that it's a tradition in the company for a birthday celebrant to get a cake. Cool. I've been getting cakes and birthday songs from officemates since I started working, and it never fails to make me giddy.

Now I just have to wait for my birthday wishes to come true: for Tito Noel's speedy recovery, for my fiance to get that life-changing call, and for Papu to visit me in my dreams, so he can greet me happy birthday and hug me, the way he did when I was a little girl.

I may have gained a couple of pounds over the weekend, and I may be aging by the minute, but I'm surrounded by the people I love, and there's Herbalife for the extra pounds, and La Mer for the wrinkles. Yep, life is good.  :D

I used to think that as long as I never left the house, I was safe from spending. As long as I'm not in the mall, or a tiangge, or a bazaar, or a thrift shop, my money stays safe and sound inside my wallet - where it should be, unless I have to spend on the essentials, like food, or rent, or fare. 90 percent of my shopping is done on impulse, so letting me loose in a place where there are shoes or bags or clothes is extremely unwise.  But I love looking at stuff, and salivating over gorgeous things, so I'm thankful for online stores.

I started by innocently browsing through the online catalogs of H&M, Urban Outfitters, Victoria's Secret, and Abercrombie and Fitch. I also love going to shopbop.com. I know I'm safe when I'm just looking at stuff online, because A. we don't have those stuff in Manila so there's no way I can just rush to the mall and get, B. I don't own a credit card and my dad's never letting me use his ever again, C. my relatives abroad will never get me stuff, even if I offer to pay for them because they know I have to seriously curb my shopping habits. (I always have to resist the urge to visit the sites of Zara, Mango and Topshop, as we have those in almost every mall in Manila and I cannot afford to lust over something that's accessible!)

And then the Multiply E-tailers started making a killing. It's extremely tempting to get, knowing that the store owners and I are in the same city, but thankfully, I don't know how to use G-cash and I am iffy with buying stuff I haven't tried on, so for the most part, I'm still safe, and able to save.

That is, until the day my fiance's sister decided to put up her own multiply store. Suddenly, transactions are so much easier - I can choose the items I want from her site, have them reserved and sent over to me, and when the items fit, I send the payment through my fiance.  While I can't say I've spent a fortune (all her items are reasonably priced!), I have certainly gotten stuff that are more than what I should be getting (I set a limit of 2 new items per payday and I've exceeded that).

So far, I've bought stuff from only 2 online stores (both owned by people I personally know) so this might sound like a shameless plug, but what the heck - they have great stuff! Here's my online shopping review:

roxyandlily.multiply.com - This is owned by my fiance's sister, Cheryl, who has excellent taste in hand-picking the stuff she sells.  So far, I've bought 3 bags (2 printed canvas totes and 1 faux croc bag), 3 smocked tops, and 2 smocked dresses. The day I wore one of the smocked tops to work, my officemate promptly placed an order for an identical top, and the rest asked for the url. Today another officemate got her hands on a dress she had reserved last week, and was so happy with it, she changed into it. :D (The dress looks smashing on her, so I can't blame her) And another officemate had two items reserved. We Lauren Silva girls have good taste, mind you, so I suggest you visit her site as well - she offers reasonably-priced stuff that are very nice.  And with her, you get the best deals - there' s actually another site selling some of the exact same stuff she has, for a much higher price.  My fiance's sister responds to PMs and text messages promptly, and her site even has a feature where you can track your orders - so you're sure your transactions are safe and speedy. Details on how to order, and how to pay for the stuff you got, are also there.

bazurabazaar.multiply.com - this is owned by another friend, Elyoo, who happens to be a fashion blogger (her blog gets a bajillion hits a day and she has visitors and fans from far-flung countries) and she's spring-cleaning her closet, so she's getting rid of some of her old stuff. I was actually supposed to get 4 pairs of shorts and 2 aviator sunglasses from her, but the shorts were too small and the aviators don't fit my face (I don't have the bridge of her snooty patrician nose, booo), but I can assure you that her stuff are in excellent condition - my friend's good in storing her things, and unlike the stuff you get from the thrift shops, her stuff smells goooood and they're clean, too. Last time I checked, she also put up a couple of cameras for sale, as well as books (some books go as low as 50 pesos!) and footwear.  Details on how to order and pay for stuff are in her site. If you doubt her personal style, visit whoiselyoo.wordpress.com and get blown away by her style :p

I haven't actually bought anything from this store, but since I'm plugging anyway, Lauren (of ukaymanila.com) has put up her online ukay store (it's linked on her ukaymanila.com site) and the stuff are gorgeous - Lauren's a mean ukay shopper, so all the stuff she picks out for her store are great.

Online shopping tips:
*Make sure you review the online profile of the person selling the stuff. Plus points if the person has an online tracker of the transactions, and if details such as tracking numbers are made available online (it shows the seller has nothing to hide, and the items actually got shipped).

*Always ask for dimensions of the stuff you want to get - you certainly don't want to spend on stuff you can't use because they don't fit you.

*Be wary with giving your personal info - it's okay to exchange contact details so you can coordinate with one another, but if the questions get too freaky and too personal, you just might have a stalker.

*Let your seller know right away if you change your mind about getting an item - the seller needs to notify the rest of his/her contacts that the item's still available. Be considerate - you're not the only customer. :)

*Lastly, always check with your seller about the SOP for cases such as delayed delivery, or if you got shipped the wrong item, or if the item shipped to you is damanged. Who knows, you might get discounts on future purchases, a freebie, full refund - or all three!

Happy shopping!

P.S. All this online retailing is making me think about selling my pre-loved bags, shoes, and the clothes that don't fit me anymore - I have 3 balikbayan boxes full of gorgeous, barely used stuff!

Hi Papu!

I never thought I’d ever write you a letter you won’t be able to read, but well, since according to Papa, you’re “everywhere” I guess one way or another you’d be able to know the contents of this letter.

Some things have changed since God decided it was time for you to join Him and finally relax.  Some of the changes are pretty big, some are barely noticeable.

Papa took charge of the store.  I don’t know how he’s doing, but I heard that the sales picked up significantly the past few weeks. There was a problem with the profits two weeks ago, and I’m not sure if it has been resolved, but I was told he’s on it.  He’s on his way to Manila now to stock up on some items that have sold out. I’m actually proud of him because he’s being very strong, and even in his moments of grief he’s still able to comfort us.  You’d be proud of him – he’s stepping up big-time.

Miko’s fine, too, and it looks like he’ll be able to shift successfully from his management course to music.  None of us are complaining, since he seems pretty happy.  He’s been helping me out in the house lately, which is great – he cleans up after himself and doesn’t mess up the place.  He drove up all the way to your final resting place yesterday to visit you. I told him to tell you I miss you, I hope you were able to catch that.

Renzo’s gaining weight.  He doesn’t use his cellphone as often anymore – I guess Mama and Papa aren’t getting him prepaid cards this summer. He’s been a good boy (or so he says) and we’ll be seeing each other this weekend.  Miko’s pretty pissed at him because he promised us he’ll visit us in Manila but he never did.  I hope the two boys don’t bicker too much this summer – I would hate to have to take sides again just so they’d shut up.

Mama visited us last week.  She had  a pretty stress-free visit, owing to the fact that Miko and I cleaned up the house before she arrived.  She bleeds when she does household chores, but she doesn’t listen to us when we tell her to take it easy – visit her in her dreams and tell her to ease up?  She told me she misses you a lot.

Lola’s being… lola. :p She still mutters to herself a lot when she gets pissed, and she still grumbles about how we spend money. (Well, since she rarely sees me she just reminds me once in a while to go easy on the shopping… and to give her my “decent” cast-offs.)  She’s trying to function as normally as possible, but sometimes people catch her crying (while still maintaining her poise) and she hasn’t cooked dinner since the night she last cooked dinner for you – maybe that task reminded her too much of you.  She’s still very pretty, and we all try to take care of her (since I’m far I just pray for her) as well as you did.  Her birthday’s in a few days, and I’m sure she’s going to miss you on that day.  But there’s no doubt on our part that you’re watching over her, and you’re still very much in love with her – growing up, I always wished I and my future husband will have a relationship like yours, because you two seemed really in love, and the magic was never lost.  Lol will never be alone and we’ll all try to make her happy.

As for me, I’m fine – I’m happily sunburned. :D I wasn’t able to visit you yesterday because I was in Laiya for a company outing, but I attended your pa-misa, heard mass in the resort and dropped by the adoration chapel of Christ the King parish to pray for you.  Work’s okay, I and the other members of the creative team are pretty stressed because we need to come up with 50 websites, fast. (You know those things Miko and I tinker with on the PC when we’re home? The ones we can’t leave even after you’ve called us for dinner? We’re supposed to come up with 50 of that. I’m in charge of the words and it’s HARD.)  The wedding planning is… not moving. >.< There’s never time to sit down and meet with suppliers (I can almost hear your tsk-tsks all the way from heaven) but don’t worry, there WILL be a wedding next year – even if we have to settle for a really small one. What matters is that we end up getting married, right? :D  I’m still heartbroken over the fact that you won’t be able to be there physically.  Dinky prays for you, too, and is doing a great job taking care of me.  We bicker once in a while, but we love each other a lot so at the end of each day, we’re fine.  I get to pay my bills on time, I get to save A LITTLE and I always have enough cash for my basic stuff, so you don’t have to worry about me.

As for the rest of your family, well I think everyone’s fine.  Everyone’s on speaking terms, which is great.  Shortly after we laid you to rest, we all had dinner in the house you built – everybody were there, all four of your siblings, their spouses, their children and grandchildren.  We were complete, and seeing your empty chair at the end of the massive dining table made us sad.  Dinner was pretty solemn, but shortly after, jokes started to fly and people were poking fun at how un-poise we were while crying (nobody can be as poise as Lol haha) and I think you would have enjoyed being there.  By the time dessert was served, people’s tummies were aching from laughing. Your ultimate wish came true that day, Papu – your family was complete, and everybody were home.  I could almost see you in your spot against the wall, facing the terrace – sitting contentedly at your easy chair, smiling at us indulgently – the way you always had when you’d see your family gathered together. We all grieve privately, but when we’re together, we’re a strong, united family. You’d be proud.

Yes, Papu, there have been little changes – changes that we’re all still adjusting to, but I think we’ll be fine.  One thing that will never change, and one thing we’ll never be able to adjust to, is how much we miss you – all of us wish you’re still with us.  You have no idea what we’d give just to see you in the flesh again, to hug you and to kiss you and to hear your voice.  And to see you smile.  That’s the one thing I miss about you most, Papu, your smile, and the way your eyes light up when you’re happy. I may get on with my life, but I will never stop missing you.  Like I have when you were still alive, I’ll never stop thinking about you.  And I will never stop loving you and idolizing you.

Wherever you are, Papu, I hope you’re happy.  A part of me is happy you’re finally resting, and I hope you’re no longer worrying about us – you’ve already done that too much when you were still alive.  We’ll always miss you, but we’ll be fine.  And like you, we’ll be strong and brave.

I love you, Papu.

Love,
Kriszel 

If you're smart, with pretty good writing skills, and are willing to work for a US-based lingerie company, you just might be what we're looking for! Perks include lingerie freebies, amazing discounts on some of the best lingerie brands in the US, a relaxed and dynamic working environment, no dress code, and getting to stare at slim-hipped, big-boobed, lingerie-clad models all day. :D


Lauren Silva Group, Inc.

Lauren Silva Group is a niche marketing E-tailer specializing in women's intimate apparel. With the United States as its main market, accounting for 85% of its sales, it also counts Canada, Australia and the UK as part of its market, accounting for the remaining 15% of its sales.

In 2008, Lauren Silva Group's gross sales exceeded $1.5 million. With offices in 2 continents and main headquarters in New York, the company has created gainful employment for talented and hardworking people.  Gross sales are expected to exceed 2.2 million dollars for 2009.


Lauren Silva Group, Inc. is currently looking for an SEO Specialist, to be based in its Manila office.

Responsibilities:

*To prepare and develop effective communications, promotional materials and PR kits together with the Creative Team;

*To work in a dynamic team environment that combines creativity, writing and technical skills, as well as marketing know-how.

Requirements:

*Must be female, not more than 27 years old, graduate of any course
*Must have experience in research
*Must be able to write well
*With excellent English communication skills
*Must be willing to be trained
*Must be organized and well-focused and can work independently, with minimal supervision
*Must have basic computer skills
*Must creative
*Must be willing to work in Ortigas, Pasig on a flexible time schedule

Send your resume and writing samples to maria.ignacio@laurensilvagroup.com. You can also send your resume to me (maria.rosales@laurensilvagroup.com or mykarosales@gmail.com)

Seriously, what's up with the weather?! In preparation for the extremely hot and sticky Manila summer, I bought smocked tops, airy dresses, halter maxi dresses and loose stuff - that I probably won't be able to wear because it's been raining the past 3 days (with thunderstorms pa on Sunday night) and worse, I've been feeling extremely weird the past few days. I always feel drowsy and I have a headache that won't go away. >.<

It better not rain this weekend - my officemates and I are going to the beach and it will be extremely sad for this beach-deprived girl if it rains. :(

After waiting for it for ages, my period finally decided to pay me a visit. Seriously, it's been way too long (too long as in it's exceeded 9 months) and I am relieved, because maybe there's hope for my reproductive system after all.

Will get myself checked tomorrow so I'd know if I have to take something, or do something to regulate my period.  I have a little less than a year to get my reproductive system in tip-top shape - my fiance and I are planning to try having babies shortly after we get married.

Now if only I could get re-accustomed to wearing pads... I've forgotten how itchy and bulky they feel!

Nothing distracts better than pretty clothes, great food, and jokes that make me laugh so hard, I end up snorting. Last weekend, I got my fill of all three and it was just pure bliss.

I wasn't able to have my clothes laundered (good thing I only have a 3-day workweek this week!) and I wasn't able to have anything altered last Saturday, but I did end up cooking steak and mashed potatoes for dinner. The fiance loved dinner and even helped me grill the steaks. He put too much butter in his, but hey,I'm cool with whatever makes him happy. :p Besides, his heart is probably healthier than mine. My mashed potatoes made from scratch was a bit too salty (I went crazy with the salt-and-pepper shaker) but it was offset by the creaminess. Mmm. Dinner was so yummy I finished off the leftovers when I had a midnight ref raid. >.<

Went on a shopping and food trip with my friends the day after - I was showered, SPF-ed, dressed, and out of the door before 9 am. Sunday Market was great, I had fun looking at stuff and eating - had creamy lengua and chicken teriyaki with steamed rice for brunch, while my friends had spicy squid and lapu-lapu sisig (that tasted like spicy guinataan). Then we went to this building on Congressional Ave. for more overruns and vintage stuff.

I got:

*Bug-eyed black-framed sunglasses
*2 loose beaded tees (that are a size too big, boo!)
*2 drapey sleeveless wraps - one in black and another in white (perfect for light layering for when I go out at night this summer)
*Vintage beige dress with poet sleeves and lace trim (I love it that it looks so romantic)
*Sheer floral-print mini-dress with poet sleeves (that I'll be wearing as a long top with black cuffed shorts)
*Tan slouchy top
*3 gorgeous enamel bangles - one in black, one in off-white, and another one in gray and off-white with small diamonds

Yes, yes, I shop too much. I have over 13 pieces of clothing that I haven't worn yet (they haven't been washed!) but at least I don't buy stuff that cost a fortune anymore. That's recession chic for you. :p

And to make my fiance "forget" that I went shopping again (he doesn't scold me or anything but he kept telling me I have so much stuff already I need another closet), I cooked prawn and garlic pasta for dinner and boy, he loved it! I never saw him eat that much. So yeah, sermon averted. :D

Today I'm wearing one of the tops I got at Sunday Market - a yellow oversized tee, paired with black boyfriend jeans, and dressed up with black patent platform slides and my gorgeous black enamel bangle. I was going for a shabby-chic look but ended up looking just plain shabby. Note to self - try on stuff before buying them. I was so used to buying clothes in the size I got my shirts in, and was surprised when I got dressed for work and saw that the top was really loose. I might have to go back to the flea market and get identical tees in a smaller size. >.<

Now, back to work. Hurray for double pay!

Just firmed up my weekend plans. I am already extemely excited.

Tomorrow will be spent running errands. I'll drop off dirty clothes the laundry shop, have a couple of denim pants and some colored jeans altered to cuffed shorts (perfect for summer!) and to have some of my kaftans converted to tunics (Manila weather is too hot for wearing kaftans). I'm also planning on buying a week's worth of groceries. I'm also cooking dinner - steak and mashed potatoes for my meat-loving fiance,  and Jell-O pudding for dessert (I used to just buy store-bought pies and cakes for dessert, and I once made banana cream pie, but I served this last week and he loved it - my life just got a lot easier hehe). I'll also ATTEMPT to organize my closet so I could convince my parents to lend me money for deposit/advanced payment so I can transfer to a much bigger place, or at the very least, get another closet.

And then, there's the legendary shopping trip on Sunday - my friends and I are planning to hit Sunday Market (it's where Elyoo gets her fabulous overruns at dirt-cheap prices) and hoard clothes and binge on food, and then we're transferring to this building somewhere along QC that has LOTS of stalls selling overruns (think Gap, Old Navy, etc.) and a thrift store that apparently sells amazing vintage clothes (last time I was there, I didn't find anything but judging on the stuff my friends find there, I can say they have pretty good stuff). And since Trinoma's on the way, I'm gonna have a large cup of Red Mango yogurt (yes, I can polish off their large portion within a matter of minutes).

I'm planning on just buying pizza for Sunday dinner, but if I'm feeling masipag I might cook pasta, too - bolognese, or my fiance's favorite carbonara. We might also see a movie, if the fiance's up to it.

It feels like forever since my last "normal" weekend, where I just shop (or browse through stores), cook for my fiance, and do mundane errands. The past two weekends have been very tough on me and my family, and it's nice to have some sense of normalcy again. Although I still have a hard time sleeping in on weekends - it was around mid-morning when my parents called me and told me about Papu's condition, and I think I make a subconscious effort to be up on weekend mornings, so there won't be phone calls and bad news to wake me up. >.<

Ah basta. This weekend, I intend to enjoy. I think, after the harrowing past couple of weeks, I deserve some fun. :)

It's one of the things we all dread - running into an ex, unexpectedly. And since I've had... several, multiply the dread by the number of exes. All in all, not pretty.

So I crossed the street to get fries and barbecue sauce from Mc Donald's and when I looked up, I looked straight into the eyes of a guy who was my boyfriend the last time I saw him, which was ages ago. I think he recognized me, but I quickly averted my gaze and kept on walking - not only was I going to be late, I looked too trashy to be confronted by a guy who I never thought could actually look THAT good. I was mentally cursing myself for not putting on makeup and for wearing an old pair of denim capris and slouchy tunic to work. >.<  So when I was safely inside Mc Donald's I fell in line and was checking my chipped-off pedicure when someone tapped me on the shoulder. As luck would have it, it was the ex. (Let's call him J.) Our conversation went something like:

J: Myks?
Me: J, hi. (steps out of the line so I won't bother the people behind me)
J: Saw you crossing the street, thought I'd say hi. I wasn't stalking you ha.
Me: Ah talaga, just now?
J: Yeah. You looked like you were scared to cross the street nga eh. *huge grin*
Me: Ah I'm in a hurry kasi, takas lang to eh.
J: Grabe, it's been 6 years. Kumusta ka na? You work around here?
Me: Yep, my building's across the street, I work for a lingerie company. Ikaw?
J: Several buildings away, I'm in marketing. I almost didn't recognize you nga eh.
Me: Ya I gained lots of weight na kasi.
J: No, kasi magulo hair mo. You look fine. Maganda ka pa rin.
Me: Salamat. Hey, I need to order na.
J: Teka, is that an engagement ring?
Me: Yep. I'm getting married next year.
J: Kanino? Ke E.? (E.'s another ex, the one who became my boyfriend after him)
Me: Ah hinde, he's like, several exes ago. You don't know my fiance.
J: You can't get married yet, di pa tayo break.
Me: Right. Hey, I really need to order na, I overextended my break na.
J: Seryoso. You told me you were breaking up with me but I never accepted.
Me: You disappeared eh. *smiles*
J: Let's break up this weekend. Over dinner. Give me your number so we can arrange something.
Me: Me lakad na ko this weekend. Tsaka my fiance will kill you.
J: What's with you and seloso boys?
Me: I dunno, you tell me.
J: No seriously, tara this weekend. I need to talk to you.
Me: J, I'll ask my fiance, but I doubt he'll allow me. Now I really need to order.
J: Your number.
Me: Persistent ka, diba? I'm sure makukuha mo yan without me telling you.
J: If you receive a message from me within the night, you're having dinner with me on Saturday night. See you around, Myks.
(He leaned in and I could tell he was going for a peck on the cheek but semi-hugged him instead.)

Okay, the part I don't get is WHY he still wants to talk about us, when US - me and him - are ancient history. And hello, he disappeared on me after I broke up with him - breaking up isn't always a mutual decision.

Or I could be over-reacting over the entire situation, because there's no way he's gonna get my number, and maybe he didn't really mean it when he asked me out.

ARGH.

Last Saturday, we laid Papu to rest - with the bones of the father he never met, and the bones of the stepfather he grew up with. My brothers sang at the mass (that must have been the most solemn version of "With A Smile", and the most touching version of Sugarfree's "Tulog Na") and I delivered the eulogy - in Tagalog. I didn't break down, and apart from a few awkward pauses when I needed to take deep breaths so I won't cry, I think I did well. My fiance was there and got introduced to the entire Reyes-Rosales clan. Bea (Miko's girlfriend) was there, too.

And so, to keep myself distracted, here's a list of things that I've been loving the past week or so:

Oishi Sponges (Cheese Flavor) - I super love this, never mind if it's calorific and can constipate me. I'm so addicted to it, I polished off a party-sized pack, that, lest you think I'm too baboy, my American boss thinks is too small even for "a party of one". Yum.

Squeem Shapewear - I work for a lingerie company that houses some of the best brands in the US, so I might as well sample the goods. :D I stayed away from sexy lingerie and racy bras, but I cannot resist a product that promises to tuck my stomach in instantly, correct my posture, smoothen my silhouette and make me lose 1-4 inches off my waist in 30 days. It also relieves most back pain. I got it at 50% off, thanks to employee discount, and I'm loving it - I don't slouch when I have it on and I'm forced to eat less, because my tummy can only accommodate so much food.

To view our selection of shapewear and great lingerie, visit laurensilva.com - and if there's anything that's misspelled, or if there are grammar errors, let me know - I'm the copywriter and it's my job to fix it. :)

Fried Chicken - nothing is more pleasurable than biting into soft chicken with crispy, savory skin after a long day. I even drizzle my rice with gravy. I've been making patol fried chicken from KFC, McDo, Jollibee, Greenwich, even Mini-Stop the past week!

15-peso Mini Stop Vanilla Ice Cream Cone - since I cannot walk all the way to Megamall or Podium for my Red Mango/Yogurbud fix, the ice cream from Mini Stop gives me my cold treat fix. It's cheap, creamy, and not too sweet! I just try not to think about the calories I consume whenever I pair this with Oishi Sponges, and I eat fried chicken a few hours after. >.<

Lipstick Jungle and Privileged - apart from the storyline, what I love about these shows are the clothes - the women of Lipstick Jungle are in clad in chic powersuits, heels, shift dresses and evening gowns perfect for Manhattan, while the Privileged girls are in laid-back Palm Beach fashion. Gossip Girl, eat your heart out. :p

Brazo de Mercedes and Lemon Torte cupcakes from Frostings - while nothing comes close to vanilla cupcakes from Magnolia Bakery, and while I'll pick Cupcakes by Sonja over Frostings in a heartbeat, these two cupcakes have dense, sweet bread, yummy fillings, and rich marshmallow icing that cures my cupcake cravings instantly.

Fashion Blogs - I love reading about people with great fashion sense, and looking at beautiful clohtes. Favorites include:

seaofshoes.com - I love the shoes of Jane, the 16-year old girl who's wise beyond her years, fashion-wise.
hoyfashion.co.uk
thesartorialist.blogspot.com - street fashion at its finest
garancedore.fr
nast-magazine.fr - it's in French, and my totally elementary French isn't sufficient for me to understand an entire entry. Nice photos, though.

My favorite Filipino fashion bloggers:

whoiselyoo.wordpress.com - baby of former blockmate/thrifting, shopping and frozen yogurt pigout-mate Elyoo, who takes her own photos and has impeccable fashion sense. The blazer in her Coco Chanel entry was something I saw first, but after much thought asked her to buy for herself instead, and it is just perfect on her. :p Hoy Elyoo, Red Mango libre for the plug :p

ukaymanila.com - blog of Lauren, who was my English blockmate. I remember that she dressed really well and I'm surprised to find out that most of her stuff are thrifted. She describes her style as nouveau hippie, which I think suits her well.

fashionistafortunecookie.com - the blogger, Lloyda, is very pretty and can carry both edgy and girly outfits. I became obsessed with harem pants because of her.

littlemissdressup.com - Rosanna and Hanna, the little misses, both dress impeccably, and they can cleverly mix thrifted finds with high-end brands. It also doesn't hurt that they're both distractingly pretty.

Now that I'm sufficiently distracted, I have to go back to work, and munching on Oishi Sponges.

So I have returned to work, and trying to function normally. I've started smiling again, and commenting on Facebook, and appreciating jokes, and responding to IMs with smileys.

My appetite has returned, and my craving for cupcakes and all sorts of junk food has come back with a vengeance.

I've even shopped a little this weekend - 1 dress and 3 tunic tops for 150 pesos each. ( I love thrifting!)

But out of sight, out of mind does not apply to me - because at home, when I'm alone, I still cry when I remember that there's no way I'm ever gonna see Papu again, and there's no way to kiss him and hug him and lay my head on his tummy, like I've always done when I was a little girl. I still remember him. I still miss him.

I'm doing his eulogy. I'll make sure it's gonna be the best speech I'm ever gonna make.

Life goes on. 

You know you're dealing with a good man when everyone calls him "Tatay" - and means it.

Papu was a simple man, with simple needs. Even if he had a lot of money, he never allowed himself a little luxury - he was content with eating 3 meals everyday (and the occasional merienda when he's natatakam with something) and almost never bought himself new things - my grandmother, aunts and my mother took it upon themselves to be his personal shoppers. If not for them, he'd probably still be wearing clothes that he bought in the '70's. He'd only permit himself to shop when something he owns is beyond repair. He spent his money wisely - building a massive house for us to spend our summers in, and buying land scattered throughout Batangas. Whenever he'd buy or invest in something, he did it with his wife, son, and grandchildren in mind. His love for us showed in the little things he did - like bugging my mother every morning what my youngest brother was having for breakfast, or asking Miko what time he'd come home. He wouldn't touch the food in the ref until he's absolutely sure everybody has had their share, or nobody wants it anymore. And when we offer him food, he'd always say, "No thanks, sa inyo na lang."  He treasures the things we give him - so much, that he rarely uses them. "Para laging bago", he says.

Where did his money go? Apart from building us a house, he also got my grandmother jewelry. He sent me and my brothers to school. He also took care of our allowance. He made sure my parents never had to work. He also sent countless nephews and nieces to school. He never refused anyone help, financial or otherwise. He'd lend money in a heartbeat, as long as he knew you - and he never wrote them off as debt. As a result, I can't even imagine how many people he was able to help in his lifetime. There was even a time when he bought a property he had never set eyes on (it was possible it didn't exist) just to help out a relative who's financially strapped.  Papu was the most generous man I have ever known. He would always tell us to share what we have to others, because even if we don't get it back, people that we helped will surely repay us in other ways. And I guess that's the reason why my family was never really alone - whenever we'd go through something, relatives and friends woud flock to our side the moment we tell them something's wrong. Yesterday, we were overwhelmed by the number of people who came to see him off - the suite room was filled with people, and more people spilled out of the lobby. His family never had time alone with him, because, up until the very last moment, he had a friend who'd drop by to visit him. And I heard so many people whisper to him, "Salamat, Tatay." Yes, Papu was right in helping people out - because, in turn, those people were there for us during our time of need.

Papu never demanded people to respect him, but everybody who knew him respected him. Maybe it was because he knew how to deal with people and was sincere with everything. When he says, "Ingat", he means it. People knew him as the old man who looked a lot like Juan Flavier, and who was always smiling. Even during his last few days, Papu retained his boyish charm - when he smiled, it reached his eyes, and his eyes would light up. I'm glad people had pleasant memories of Papu - pleasant, smiling Papu.

Papu used to be really strict. He was super scary. But people always say he became "softer" when I was born - and kept getting mellower and nicer whenever a new grandchild got born. To me and my brothers, Papu was Santa Claus all year round - he'd slip us money to buy candies even if my mother would throw fits when we'd eat between meals. He allowed me to eat dirty ice cream even if I wasn't allowed to. He'd argue with Papa whenever he'd find out I got spanked or scolded. He fought for my right to skip wearing a shawl for my senior prom. He hated it when I'd cry, or when I'm hurt. He was the one who always reminded me to be a good daughter, and to study very hard. He would always, always take my side - whether in a fight between my brothers, an argument with my parents, or when he feels I'm being made "api". He used to tell me he was proud of me and what I've achieved in school - he placed my medals and trophies in a prominent place in the house and would show them off when we have visitors. He'd let me use his tin mug and never told my parents about the almost nightly midnight ref raids my brothers and I used to make.

Shortly after he got confined in the ICU, we found his old wallet - the old, tattered one he refused to part with, even if we gave him leather wallets through the years - and we found a prayer book, and a photo of my dad when he was in Grade 5.

And my baby picture.

He was the one who told me that I was a princess. His princess. He made sure I was raised like one, and that people at home, and the people who worked for him, treated me like one. And he taught me to be strong and to never allow myself to be stepped on by others, and to always be tough and to never be afraid to speak my mind.

Thank you, Papu, for everything. I miss you already. It's still weird being home and not kissing you goodnight, and not seeing you at the breakfast table.

I love you, Papu. I'll never forget everything you taught me. I'll never forget you.

Say hi to the angels for me. Enjoy the unlimited servings of chicharon and lechon in heaven - now you can eat without any of us telling you to watch your cholesterol intake.

Rest in peace, Papu. We'll see each other again. Save us places next to you in heaven.

One of the things we were asked to watch out for was Papu's BP - when it starts to deteriorate, that's pretty much it.

At around 4 pm, Papa asked us to rush to the hospital, because Papu's BP started to get lower at an alarming rate. So we rushed, not minding that none of us have showered yet and we all barely slept.

I didn't get the miracle I was hoping and praying for. But I was able to kiss Papu many times. I was able to hold his hand while it was still warm - it felt exactly the way it always felt, minus the strong grip I was used to. And I was able to tell him I love him, and that I'm thankful for everything and how lucky I was to have known him and to have had him as my grandfather.

As of this writing, we're just waiting for him to finally rest. I'll feel a million times worse when he does, and I'm hoping I could be strong enough - for my grandmother, and my brothers.

I love you, Papu. It's okay. We'll be okay. Tulog na po.

My paternal grandfather, who I fondly call Tatay Po, or Papu, is in the ICU. He had a stroke around 2 am last Sunday, and a vein in his brain snapped. I was also told he has blood clots in his brain.

His vitals are okay, but his eyes are unresponsive. He twitches a lot, but that's just about it, as far as movement is concerned.

Doctors don't want to operate on him anymore.

We were given 3-4 days at the most to say goodbye to him.

I DON'T WANT TO SAY GOODBYE.

I know there are some members of the family who, like me, are praying for a miracle, but I know that they've also accepted that we're losing him soon. I HAVEN'T. Because I know him, and I know he is stubborn and pigheaded, and he's fighting. I would like for him to fight.

I'm praying for a miracle. And I'm asking you to help me pray for that, too.

Because I believe, and I know, that if we pray hard enough, he'll wake up. He'll demand why there are so many tubes stuck to his body and he'll ask to be taken home. And then when he comes home, he'll ask for his favorite food to be cooked, he'll eat, take a shower, emerge from the shower smelling of the aftershave my brothers and I love so much, and go to the store, like nothing happened.

I know this can happen. I know miracles can happen. So help me pray.

Please.

Papu, wake up please. We're all home.

Brides are supposed to enjoy the wedding planning immensely.  And they're supposed to plan everything in perfect detail, so that her wedding day will be perfect. And the longer you've been engaged, the longer you can plan for the wedding - and the longer you've been planning your wedding, the chances of your wedding day being perfect is higher.

Hello, I am Myka Rosales. I am a bride, and none of the things I mentioned above apply to me.

Well, I have been engaged for over 4 years. My fiance proposed to me on December 18, 2004. And the day after, I've started looking at wedding gowns and wedding cakes. I've been planning this wedding for over 4 years, and my ideas have ranged from impossible, to scandalously expensive, to extremely minimalist, until we've narrowed down our options to what's doable and what's reasonable (read: no ice sculptures, absolutely no doves, no 10-tiered cake with edible gemstones, no livestreaming of the wedding to guests who can't make it, wedding gown shouldn't have a train that's a bit longer than Princess Di's train, no inflatable tents, and as much as possible, settle for flowers, decorations and wedding favors that don't have to be flown in from another continent) late last year. We still haven't set a definite budget (though we definitely should, and we MUST stick to it) and I still haven't lost weight. The only definite thing we've done, aside from me seeing my designer and having my gown sketched (and which I'm not a hundred percent settled on yet) was to go to the church and have our date reserved - only to find out another couple has already booked that date. Two frigging years in advance. And we still haven't decided on a final date, but we're sure we want to get married on the first week of January next year. We've finalized most of the wedding details: motif, decors, theme, flowers, the total look and feel of the church and the reception venue, the playlist, the copy to be used on the wedding invitations, my makeup, how the gowns of the female entourage will look like, and what's supposed to be included in the dessert buffet. We've shopped around for suppliers and I have 3 bulging folders filled with flyers and brochures of suppliers that we've accumulated from attending wedding fairs. We have their contact numbers, and we've talked to a lot of them.

Sounds good, right? Everything's good to go?

Hell no.

We still haven't decided on the suppliers. So while we have a very clear idea of what we want and what we don't want, we haven't actually decided on who will execute them - and we still don't know if the people on our non-existent shortlist can actually execute our ideas. And we have to book everyone at least 6 months before the wedding. So while we've been planning this shebang since forever, it's pretty useless - without committing to suppliers, we're nowhere near step 1.

So to all future brides, no matter how long your engagement is, do not be complacent. The moment an idea strikes you, analyze it immediately - if it's doable or not, and if that's what you really want - and when you decide it's what you really want, find your supplier right away AND BOOK. Booking suppliers months, even a year ahead of your wedding assures you that you're getting the best deals, and you even get freebies. Plus, you save yourself the hassle of worrying 9 months before your wedding. In other words, you won't be like frazzled, scatterbrained me.

Oh, and if you need to lose weight, start dieting and exercising even before he proposes - you can never be too sure. I don't think I'm ever losing weight in time for the wedding. Might as well discontinue the services of my fabulous designer and wear a sack.

And if you're settling on a unique date, like, say 1/10/10 (DAMN YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE WHO STOLE OUR WEDDING DATE!) or 1/11/11 or something, book it ages before. A lot of other couples are after your date, trust me.

And the next time you get a food-tasting invitation from a caterer, do not ignore it - by all means, go, sample the goods, and decide whether you want to get them or not. If you book them on the spot, they can give you freebies (Hizon's gives their dessert buffet as their freebie and they normally charge 20k plus for that)  and special discounts.

Before, January 2010 couldn't come faster. I always wished time would go faster so that I can get married already. Now, less than 9 months before the wedding, I wish I could sloooow down time. >.<

Oh well. If all else fails, I could still marry him in some obscure chapel wearing a simple white dress, no veil, no jewelry except my engagement ring and my grandmother's diamond earrings, with only white flowers adorning the church, and my bouquet will be a bunch of white lilies tied with a blue ribbon. The only people in attendance would be our parents, our siblings, the priest, the entourage, plus 20 guests.  The reception would follow in our original venue, catered by the household help in our Batangas family house (those people can cook really well - we can serve wedding fare using recipes that's been in the family for generations), using heirloom silverware, flatware and china. The cake will be bought from our favorite bakeshop - it will be a single-tiered, buttercake with white frosting. Souvenir will be homemade chocolates, made by Mama. An intimate, simple, no-frills wedding.

This idea's looking more attractive everyday. Hmmm.